Recently in Personal Category

Sometime near the end of summer last year my aging Toyota truck blew the AC clutch/compressor unit and I found myself driving a vehicle without air conditioning for the first time since about 1996/1997.  I wrote about this experience then and about how I was being forced to break a vow I made to myself all those years ago.  The vow was how I would never again drive a car without AC no matter what the cost.  Well, as we all know, things over the past few years have not been good economically and I have not been spared the pain of financial struggle.  I could not afford to fix the truck then and even now during the hottest summer on record I drive a vehicle whose only cooling comes from rolling down the windows and driving really fast.  For most of the year this is not a problem but during the summer it is fairly uncomfortable.  I have learned to live with it though and have been happy to be driving a vehicle that overall runs well.  At least up until last week.

On Wednesday of last week I pulled into my driveway after a particularly long and hot drive from work (my drive home is about an hour long) and as I exited the vehicle I could hear what sounded like boiling water.  Upon popping the hood my worst fears were confirmed.  My 13 year old truck was overheating.  Being the pessimist that I am I instantly assumed the engine was blown and that the final straw had been placed on my back.  I envisioned trips to the bank to beg for a loan to get the truck fixed or worse.     
After calming down a bit I sent a note to an old friend asking if he had any advice.  He knows about car repair and maintenance and had tried to help out when the AC blew out the previous years.  After a few emails back and forth and some preliminary checks on my end much of my fear was dissuaded in the hopes that the fix would actually simple, quick, and quite economical. 

After a few days the weekend came around and on his advice I bought some parts and other supplies (spending less than $40.00) and awaited his arrival to see what could be done about my friend, the Toyota.  We drained the disgusting liquid from the radiator (flush your radiators regularly kids!) and replaced the suspected culprit, the thermostat.  Soon enough the truck was driving like normal and the problem was solved.  Although I didn't do the repair completely by myself I was able to follow along and learn quite a few new things about vehicle maintenance of which previously I had been unaware.

The end result of the experience was that learning to do things for yourself is economically imperative in the world today.  In the past few weeks I have repaired my Xbox 360, an office fan, and the truck.  Professional service on these items would have cost me hundreds of dollars and over all the repairs I think I have spent $50.00.  Not only am I saving money but there is a particularly nice feeling of accomplishment when you can handle things on your own. 

I have been thinking lately how a barter economy could grow within a depressed capitalist economy.  We all have skills that other people need.  I can build, repair, and network computers and my friend can repair and maintenance cars.  Between the two of us we have shared skills which have benefited us both without an over expense of the almighty dollar.  How much of our incomes could we all keep if were were willing to trade services and skills more often that just exchanging cash?  While this type of exchange is an everyday thing all over the country I wonder if there is a way to organize such trades on-line.  Kind of like an EBay for swapping knowledge and know-how. 

Anyway, I am happy beyond measure that I have a better concept of how to take care of the cooling system in my truck.  Next up...learning how to replace the AC compressor! 

Seriously, what's up?  I feel like I have been out of touch with most of the world for the last few months.  The unending routine of work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep has become so monotonous that I often feel more like a robot that has been programmed to walk between point A and B until its gears wear down than a living, breathing human.  It must be the crushing heat we have been experiencing here in the south.  It is slowing my mental processes and I am falling back on automated responses. 

With that being said I have some random thoughts to throw out.  I hope something in the coming jumble of miscellaneous stuff is interesting. 

I. - LIMBO

If you have an XBOX 360 take some time and download the demo of this game.  It is beautiful and engaging.  I haven't purchased it yet myself but I plan to when funds are available (and hopefully the price comes down a bit).  It really captured my imagination and my daughter and I have had several conversations on what the nature of the world is and what the boy is doing there.  From my understanding, this is all left open by the designers.




II.  Typos

I know I have talked about this before but my writing is just plagued with typos these days.  This is especially concerning when it comes to Twitter.  I just can't seem to catch my fat fingered typing mistakes fast enough.  It is a more glaring problem on Twitter because the Tweets are so short to begin with.  I don't know if it makes me look lazy, stupid or both but it is really bothering me personally.  I just have to work at getting better at reviewing what I right before I publish it.  Even if the content is poor at least I can make it look professional.

III.  Rage

Stephen King published a novella called Rage under the pseudonym Richard Bachman back in the 70s.  It is about a high school student who takes his math class hostage.  After a rash of school shootings in the 90s King took the book out of print after connections to the book and the shooters came to light.  I have owned a paperback collection of Bachman stories since high school but for some reason never got around to actually reading the book.  I stumbled across the book recently while combing the attic looking for stuff to sell in a yard sale and decided it was high time to read it.  It wasn't long after starting the story that all the thoughts I had in high school came flooding back.  All the anger and hatred for my classmates flared up fresh after almost 20 years of being forgotten.  I am a different person now but that bitter 16 year old is still in me and while reading the story I couldn't help but remember how I often thought about what it might be like to take over the school and exact some revenge.  Obviously a clearer head prevailed and I made it out of high school like most everyone eventually does.  The sharp, visceral reaction I had to reading the story however took me a bit by surprise.  I had thought I had gotten over that period of my life but apparently some thing are just too formative to ever truly go away.

Today I am more concerned for my daughter and what she will experience growing up.  I would save her a lot of those experiences if I could.  The fights on the bus, the being afraid to go to the bathroom during school because of the nefarious acts that tended to go on in the restroom, the cliques, the insults, and all of the other things that occur in American institutionalized education will still be there when she gets to high school but maybe, somehow she can avoid them.  If not...well...I hope I can teach her to deal with them and get through it.  Living with rage is a bad thing and I would spare her that as well.

IV.  Religion

No, I am not about to go off again but I did want to share the following video.



There are some interesting thoughts on the end but what most interested me is the picking and choosing parts. There is plenty to be learned from the Bible. I have never denied that. The value that the Bible provides, however, does not make the rest of it true. One can find plenty of value and inspiration from any number of works of fiction but truth is often harder to come by.  It has been argued recently by people I know that the morality of the Bible is so self-evident (a questionable statement at best)  that the mere goodness of the morality is evidence enough for the existence of the Christian God.  That statement is akin to saying the values expressed in Heinlein's A Stranger in a Strange Land are also so "good" that it proves there are aliens on Mars.  Ultimately what I believe Jacobs is pointing out is that we can find worth in the Bible even if some if it is junk.  I would agree with that.

V.  Batman

Grant Morrison's work on Batman is controversial at best but one thing you have to admit is that it is always engaging...even if you have no idea what is going on.  It looks like he is bringing the yellow bat symbol back to the costume and I couldn't be happier.  I have always liked it and I am glad to see it return.  Check out the LA Times for more Morrison and Batman goodness.


That's good for today.  Hopefully I will be back tomorrow but as always...we'll see.

There has been a long standing joke in my family about a curse on the bloodline.  I don't know when this might have first started but my first real memory of something insane and unexpected happening occurred in 1985.  That was the year we relocated to Alabama.  The break-up of AT&T resulted in my father being transferred from his (and our) hometown of Winchester, Kentucky to the unknown wilderness of Birmingham, Alabama.  During the moving process a most unexpected event occurred.  The truck that contained just about all of our earthly possession wrecked when a deer darted out into the highway.  The driver hit the deer and rolled the 18 wheeler onto its side.  Much of what we owned was either destroyed or lost and my parents had to go through mountains of paperwork to get it all replaced.  Even then some things were gone forever. 

After that things seem to have ramped up as far as the "curse" goes.  Mom fell down the stairs and was bedridden for weeks.  Dad had his car stolen on Christmas with presents in the trunk.  Our van broke down while heading to Disney World for Vacation.  Our boat left us stranded at the lake in a rainstorm.  The list of unfortunate events goes on and on and even though we all knew that things just happen, eventually we just started talking about "The Moore Curse".  It became the new way to refer to whatever everyone else calls "bad luck".

The curse, however, seems to have been passed down to my generation.  Over the last week we have been hit again and if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter you know what I am talking about.  My wife had an accident on Friday which left her in pain for hours as we struggled to get the ER to give her something for the pain while waiting for the doctor.  Then, on, Tuesday her doctor's office sent her out looking for a brace that they should have had.  Of course no where she went could or would help her.  Then, to top it all off, she spotted a nail in her tire...a tire that literally is only one month old.  The curse strikes again.

Oh, there are many more incidents like this that I could go through but ultimately life is what it is.  There is nothing supernatural about it.  Bad things happen.  So do good things (it has been a while but they do happen).  It seems, however, we have more than our share of bad and less of the good.  I am kind of hoping the good is weighted toward the end of my life and that I am approaching some kind of turning point.  This week, pretty much since Father's Day really, has been rough and "The Curse is on my mind quite a bit.  We still laugh when we talk about it but the chuckles aren't quite as loud as they used to be and the laughter at times seems a bit strained.  It is almost as though we try not to mention it as much just in case talking about "the curse" results in something happening.  Completely irrational for sure but sometimes the evidence is hard to brush off.

I don't much believe in the supernatural but if I felt sacrificing some kind of farm animal might help I don't think I would be above such an action.  Any thoughts? 

We took some time this weekend to attend the Buck Creek Festival in our home town of Helena, AL this Saturday. My wife actually spent some time volunteering with the Friends of Helena Library by dressing up as The Cat in the Hat for a few hours. While we all had a good time I couldn't help leaving feeling a little sad for Helena.

This picture illustrates the problem. Other than my daughter, one of the big things that sticks out, at least to me, is the old tire in the background. Not only does it ruin this picture but it also shows the condition of the park where the festival takes place. There are more tires in the water along with a myriad of other pieces of junk, glass, appliance parts, discarded landscape bricks, and trash strewn about the area. Every time we go to the park I find myself picking up trash, mostly glass in the playground, but I never seem to make a difference. It just kills me that what could be a beautiful area has to fall victim to such neglect.

Of course I have to admit that the problem isn't entirely the local's fault. The creek has a habit of flooding quite badly during heavy rains and my suspicion is that at least some of the junk that ends up in the park is due to the flooding. Still, I think we as citizens could do a better job keeping the place clean. Well, that and not throwing tires in the creek of course.

I guess there needs to be a Friends of Buck Creek Park. Emily and I agree on that anyway. Maybe there already is a group like this. If so, please let me know as I might be interested in joining. Otherwise, maybe I should start one. It wouldn't take too much effort to clean the place up a bit. Getting a crew out even once a month would go a long way to making it a nicer place.

I just hate to think that on the one day when we really want to showcase our city, visitors have to strategically avoid certain shots so as not to have trash as the background of their photographs or be sure their children wear good shoes so they don't have to worry about slicing their feet open or having to go get a tetanus shot.

Squat...that seems to be all I have to blog about these days but I am not going to let the lack of interesting topics stop me.  No sir!  Mediocrity is my call to arms and I shall wear the thorny Crown of Average with both humbleness and humility. 

You know what is bothering me lately?  Yard Work.  When did this become a "thing"?  I don't think I could care less about my yard.  In fact, if I thought I could get away with it I would pave the whole thing from house to street, paint it green and be done with it.  I don't think I will ever be one of those people that get joy out of having a pretty yard.  The only thing it represents to me is a bunch of work I don't want to do.  Not only that but no matter how well I cut the grass I am just going to have to do it again in a few days.  Not my idea of a productive task.  I think if I ever have anything like disposable income I may have to start paying someone to do that little chore for me.  Seriously...I can't stand yard work. 

I am a little bummed lately about my complete lack of progress in advancing my poker game.  It seems over the last year I have completely failed to work on my game and my results have reflected this failure.  I have lost most of my on-line bankroll (small as it was anyway) and haven't booked a good cash win in quite some time.  It seems like I have just been uninterested in doing the studying necessary to keep moving forward.  I don't know why though.  It isn't as though I have that much more pressure on my time.  More likely it is my standard habit of finding a passion that only lasts for a little while.  One day I might need to talk to someone about that as I think it is at the root of my of the challenges I face in life.  I just lose interest in things over time.  Kinda like this blog.  All that being said, however, I still REALLY enjoy playing.  Maybe my lack of significant success has hurt my desire to learn.  I don't know, but if I don't start working on my game again I think what was a good run of wins last year is going to evolve into a big down swing.  Good thing I don't play for any significant amount of money I guess.  Still...I hate losing.

Emily's school year is coming to a close and I am sad to say it has been a complete waste.  From an uninterested teacher to a curriculum that was way below her level I worry that she has lost some valuable time in her education.  Emily's late birthday forced us to put her through public kindergarten after her year in a private program.  I don't see that she has gained much other than the knowledge of how to operate within the prison like public school system.  If there is one major failure in my life it is probably not being able to get my daughter the education she deserves.  However, with this year almost behind us I feel like we really have a second chance at getting her going in the right direction.  Once in first grade I refuse to let the system keep her back.  If that means I have to be the asshole parent then that is just what I am going to be.  That or we must move to a place where education is more than just being sure kids don't hurt themselves.

I guess that covers what is on my mind right now.  Lots of empty space in there it seems.  I guess I could sell it out to advertisers.  Anyone interested?    

Over the last week I have allowed my atheism to flare up a bit.  Usually I don't spend much of my day thinking about how much I don't believe in supernatural powers or superstition.  I am busy enough as it is with work and being a good father/husband so it really doesn't enter my daily thoughts that often.  However, something last week or maybe even two weeks ago kicked off a flurry of writing on my part basically defending my beliefs.  Now that I think about it, it must have been Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens beginning the process (allegedly) to have Pope Benedict XVI arrested for his role in covering up the sexual abuses committed by the Catholic clergy.  This event was followed by the court ruling against the National Day of Prayer.  So I suppose there was enough media attention given to issues of philosophy and theology that I was goaded into making some statements myself.

At some point during those "discussions" I found myself tiring of the back and forth.  Ultimately I just quit responding and left a few statements without follow-up.  After being called a whacko I defended myself and atheists like me and then walked away without even wondering if anything I said would be read or responded to.  Maybe I got busy or, more likely, I just got bored.  I discussed the issue with my wife and she was a bit appalled that I would be so open about my non-belief in places where our neighbors, coworkers, and other acquaintances could find out about my ideology.  I never really worried about it and began to consider if I should.  I don't know that I have a final opinion but I understand her argument.

Here's the thing.  We have to live in a community that isn't always open to non-traditional opinions.  As an adult I really don't care what other people think.  My not caring, however, doesn't mean there aren't consequences to being vocal about things that can put people off.  It is possible and likely anyone in my family could be discriminated against based on my beliefs.  This is especially troublesome when it comes to my daughter.  I have to consider what people will say and do to her because of her father.  Certainly this isn't fair, it isn't ethical, and it isn't moral but it is reality.  On top of that, there are the real concerns that I could be denied employment or other things because of my vocal defense of atheist ideas.  Yes, this would be illegal, but honestly who wants to get involved in that fight?

What I have to decide is how public and vocal I can be while still protecting my family from the negatives that come with being an atheist.  It truly sucks that this has to even be a consideration but let's be honest about things for a moment.  I live in a VERY red state.  Take for example this ad from a politician running for governor. 



The fact that this kind of clearly racist, bigoted, idiocy can even get on the air proves how backwards this state really is.  If you are not familiar with Tim James you may be familiar with his father, former governor Fob James.  Fob is famous for many things but I particularly remember his rant against evolution and his support of a special sticker in Alabama textbooks concerning the theory.  Oh yeah, and the famous ape dance he did for the Board of Education was particularly a proud moment for this state.  Obviously the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.  Of course this is also the home of Roy Moore, a man who was removed from his judicial post after sneaking a monument to the Ten Commandments into an Alabama Courthouse under the cover of darkness.  Guess what, he is also up for governor this year.

What this demonstrates is that tolerance isn't exactly widespread in my home state.  So, I guess I have to consider this when I find myself debating the nature of morality and the origins of the universe from an apologetically non-theistic perspective.   Even as I consider the consequences, however, I find that I can not be silent.  I will not allow the voices of superstition drown out the voices of reason.  I will not be silent when someone calls me a whacko without taking the time to know me.  I will not give way to the religious and I will not hold back criticism when I feel it is warranted.  I think the important thing, however, is to be aware of the forums in which I engage in such debates, discussions, and arguments.  I don't think it is productive to make a stand at a Parent/Teacher meeting but maybe it is acceptable to do it at a city council meeting.  Whatever the case the best I can offer is to at least think about what I say before I say it but I can't guarantee I will be quiet.  Nor should I have to.   

I have a statistics problem that I don't know if I am solving correctly.  I am asking the internet to either verify my work or correct it. 

Here's the problem:

What are the odds of dealing a specific sequence of 18 cards from a standard, randomized 52 card deck?  Stated another way, there are 9 poker players sitting around a table.  In the game of Texas Hold'em each player is dealt 2 cards.  The dealer deals each player one card and then starts over again dealing the second.  What is the probability a specific order of cards (both in value and in suit) is dealt?  Of course the situation doesn't matter since it is really just the first 18 cards out of the deck but I thought I would clarify the question.  The reason why I want to know this will be discussed AFTER the answer is determined.

Here is my solution:

The odds of any one card coming out 1st is 1 out of 52.  The odds for the 2nd card are 1 out of 51.  This goes on until all 18 cards are dealt.  So, the math is simply (in my thinking at least) is 52 * 51 * 50 * 49...all the way to 35.  This gives an answer of 2.73 x 10^29 to 1 against.

Am I close?

And just FYI...there reason I want to know the answer has nothing to do with poker or gambling.  I am just using the card example to help make a point about something entirely unrelated.

How do you react when you run into someone you used to know but haven't seen in many years?  For me this usually happens with people who went to my same high school.  I basically live in the same town not a mile away from where I grew up so these encounters happen with some frequency.  Know this...I didn't really get along with most people back then.  If I tend to avoid people today out of general principal I was down right misanthropic when I was in high school.  There was a small group of people I could stomach being around and an even smaller group I considered friends.  Over time I got better about dealing with members of the human race and today I think I do pretty well but I don't think anyone would ever call me overly outgoing.  Personally I like the term "reserved" but that's just me. 

Anyway, due to the less than glowing memories of my pre-college years, bumping into people from that time causes me a bit of stress.  I don't know how to handle the idle chit chat that inevitably must ensue during one of these chance encounters.  One thing that is always important to me is to be polite and respectful which I always am but it is just hard to talk to someone when you really don't care about what they have to say.  On the other side, I can usually tell when the other person doesn't have any desire to talk to me but the situation makes it all but unavoidable.  It is the same old boring conversation every time.  "How's it going?"  "Where do you work?"  "Do you have kids?"  "Still living around here?"  Then there is some kind of throw away line that ends a conversation.  Usually something like "Well, good to see you."  Then there is the awkward wave or the shaking of hands and the encounter is over.  Of course that is when I wonder to myself..."why didn't I move to Oregon?"

There is just something weird about running into people you never thought you would see again.  I know it happens to everyone but I don't think I am very good at dealing with these encounters.  How do you handle these awkward moments?

I don't normally look forward to summer.  Here in the south summer is brutal.  It is doubly brutal for people like myself who have fairly long commutes in the afternoon and drive cars without air conditioning.  I don't want to spend the upwards of $1500 to get the compressor fixed in my truck so I am stuck in the hot seat in the afternoons.  Overall, this makes me dread the coming summer.  Something about this year, however, is different.  I am looking forward to the change of season this year.

Maybe it is because of the colder than normal winter we had but I am really ready for a change.  Of course there are other things like teaching my daughter to ride a bike and working outside on the house and in the yard that make the summer attractive but I think mostly I just really want some sun.  Lately I have been feeling boxed in forced to spend too much time indoors for my job or because of weather.  I have this strong need to be outside more and since the time change the urge has been extra strong.  I just feel like this well be a good summer for my family even if we spend most of that time just having fun at the park.  My hope is to find a way to make at least one beach trip but those plans are still up in the air at the moment. 

Mostly I am just ready to enjoy some warm weather and good times.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately.  Not so much about flying cars, nuclear powered personal home energy generators, or flying to Jupiter for vacation but really about just the next ten years.  The last few years have been fairly tough for us.  Certainly it has been tough for a lot of people and my family and I have dealt with our share of rough spots but I am happy to say that we are getting through it together.  Ever since I finished graduate business school, however, I have personally suffered from a lack of direction and I think that has exacerbated the situation.  Once I reached that goal I found I didn't have something else lined up to work towards and things become quite stagnant.  I haven't been able to see much past the next paycheck and haven't had anything major to work toward or look forward too and I am beginning to think not having those things is a bigger problem than I had believed.  As I have come to this realization I have started tossing around ideas in my head that are both scary and wonderful at the same time.

The crazy thought that has been occupying my free cycles has been going to law school.  Yes, I realize how insane that is for someone in my position.  I have commitments, responsibilities, and obligations that put going to school full time out of the range of possibilities but the thought still exists.  I think the recent political changes in our society of inspired this line of thinking.  I see our country moving away from the principles of liberty and freedom and is scares me.  It is therefore not surprising that my mind has been occupied by thoughts of Constitutional law.  I realize, however, going to law school would just be another way to try and put off the one thing that seems to trouble me the most...becoming an adult. 

I think the reality for me is that I don't want to be a professional anything and going to school...again...is a way to act like I am living up to my potential while really I just do something I am actually good at - regurgitating information.  No, going back to school is really out of the question and I wouldn't want to put my family through that again nor is it really something we could afford.  Still, I can't stop thinking about the academic pursuit. 

Of course there are other things that continue to tickle my fancy.  I have been saying for years that I missed the boat on a career in science.  Lately I have been enamored with the study of aquatic life and I have often remarked to my wife that I should have been a marine biologist.  It's a shame I didn't realize that interest while in college.  My mind, however, was focused on other things I suppose.  Still, I find myself drawn to aquariums and marine documentaries and while thinking about days on the ocean or lake studying ecosystems and the wealth of life below the surface.  I don't know if these thoughts are just the mind yearning to experience something new and different or if they are clues to something deeper.  There really is no reason for me to feel any special affinity for water.  I was born in a land locked state and have only been to the beach half a dozen times in my 34 years of life.  No matter, such a life is beyond my reach but I doubt I would turn down an offer to live near water.

All of these flights of fancy aside, I need something to work toward some kind of goal and I feel it almost has to be academic in some way.  It doesn't need to involve formal school but I need to find something that interests me enough to keep me going.  For the second time in my life I find myself without a direction.  Can't say I like it much.