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This weekend was nice.  Quite a bit relaxed which is the exact opposite of last weekend.

Saturday started with a trip to a local library for a used book sale.  Normally I don't go expecting to bring anything back for myself.  We go looking for children's books for my daughter.  This time, however, I found a couple of gems for my personal collection.  I was able to pick up hardback copies of Stephen King's IT, and Salem's Lot.  I have been re-reading IT for an online book club, which you can join in on right on this very site so finding a never read hardback of the novel was especially nice.  The Salem's Lot copy looks like a first edition.  It is in fair to good condition and I am really pleased with the find.  Most of the books at the sale come from donations so my guess is that both of these books came from someone's garage as they were a bit dusty, but I am happy to have them.  I have almost two full 3 foot shelves of King hardbacks now which is starting to look respectable.   Emily picked up a box load of books as well.  Overall we spent $45.00 at the sale and came home with plenty of material to last us through the summer. 

Not content with buying books I had already read, I ventured out to the local Barnes and Noble to grab the new Chuck Palahniuk book, Snuff.  Snuff is about a world-record 600 man gang bang.  I know, horrible subject matter but I like the author so it is a must read.  Cassie Wright is an aging porn star who wants to do something big so that she will be remembered forever.  The story is told from the point of view of some of the men waiting for their chance to be a part of the project.  The each have different reasons for answering the casting call and it is the interactions of the men in the waiting room that make up the bulk of the short, 200 page novel.  The title makes me think things aren't going to end well for Cassie Wright, but we shall see.  I should have the book done by the end of the week.

Sunday saw a trip to Vulcan for his 104th birthday bash.  For 3 bucks (Emily was free) we got to visit the museum, have our faces painted (ok, not me), experience carving lesson's from local Birmingham artist Lonnie Holley, "The SandMan", mine for chocolate, and learn about Vulcan's history through live re-enactments.  There was food and music (we missed that part) as well as visits from tiny Vulcan.  We also took a trip up to the top of the statue and had fun climbing down the stairs back to ground level.  The rain held off just enough for us to have our fill at Vulcan Park and then it was back home for a little R&R with some time off for some Gremlins 2 action.  Oh Phoebe Cates, where for art thou?  

We'll just ignore the bill paying, drape hanging, and the other not so fun bits.  

It was just that good.  Maybe not the BEST weekend ever as there were one or two things missing but it was damn good nevertheless.  I kicked off the festivities with a little Iron Man.

Let me just say that this movie rocked.  I don't know much about the character so I didn't bring any of that baggage with me into the theater.  I came at this film completely clean without any expectations and what resulted was a really enjoyable experience.  The film is funny in just the right places.  Robert Down Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow are absolutely perfect in their roles.  The only thing I could have really asked for would have been MORE IRON MAN.  I didn't see him kick enough terrorist ass before the film moved on to the next plot point.  Outside of that, Iron Man is a perfect superhero movie.  I am really excited to see Jon Favreau doing well as a director.  He has made some really solid films and looks to have a bright future.  I think I will always see him as the overweight pot head Gutter from PCU, but I have a newfound respect for him as a creative talent.  I hope he gets to make a sequel or two because this first outing was excellent.  I think it is Marvel's best film property to date.  Yes, even better than Spider-Man.   This is a movie you should see.  It is also a great start to what looks like an amazing summer movie season.  How can you not love a summer that includes Batman, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Hellboy, Narnia, and Indiana Jones? 

After the wonderful experience Friday at the movies, Saturday started with Free Comic Book Day at my LCS (local Comic Shop).  As always I took my daughter so she could meet some of the costumed superheros that always make an appearance at this event.  Her favorite is The Flash, but this year she took a particular liking to Princess Leia.  There is just something about little girls and princesses I guess. 

I am a very sarcastic smart ass much of the time.  It's ok, I have comes to terms with it even if my wife and family have not.  I guess you just can't change who you are.  I am finding, however, that my bad habits are rubbing off on my sweet, innocent little girl.  I don't know if that is a good thing or not but I must say it can be quite humorous at times.

Take for example what happened yesterday.  We stopped by Wal-Mart to get some nightcrawlers (them's worms for you cultured types) in order to do some fishing at the local pond.  My daughter, curious as she is, wanted to look at the worms, touch them, drop them on the ground, etc.  So I let her hold the container as we went through the checkout line.  Since I dislike most other humans as a rule, I try very hard to use the self-checkout lane whenever possible and yesterday was no exception.  We got everything scanned and paid for and my young child insisted on carrying the nightcrawlers sans bag.  Her loud insistence brought the attention of the self-checkout monitor clerk.  The lady asked my daughter a few questions:

Lady:  Are you going fishing?

Emily:  Yes.

Lady:  Are you going to use those worms?

Emily:  Yes.

Lady:  Are you going to touch them?

Emily:  Yes. 

Now, this was a fairly normal conversation for my daughter.  Emily tends to say only what is necessary to people she doesn't know.  However, it is the last bit of the conversation that was noteworthy. 

Lady:  Oh no, I don't think I would ever touch a worm!  They are slimy and dirty!

Emily:  Well, you aren't going with us so that's good!

I burst out laughing.  Not because she kind of "stuck it" to the cashier for being nosy, but because it sounded EXACTLY like something I might say.  For that one instant I saw my legacy in my child.  I sort of half apologized to the clerk through my laughter and shuffled her out the door with my wife smirking at me the whole time.  She looked over at me and said, "She gets that from you you know."

"Yeah, and her delivery was spot on," I said.

That got me another "look" and a quiet walk to the van.

My mom always hoped that I had a kid exactly like me one day.  I think, without a doubt, she got her wish.

I started out the day writing a rant about how I can't stand to see parents who ignore their children.  I am sure you have seen those parents who seem to have children as an accessory.  I have seen this more and more since Emily has been going to pre-school.  There are some parents I NEVER see talk to their children.  They move them from place to place like one would move a handbag but they never actually interact with the child.  These parents also seem to hang out together so when you are at an event they let their little devils loose on the world while they stand over in the corner and talk about their new haircuts and their husband's golf game (I guess, I don't really know what these twits talk about).  However, I don't really want to talk about those people.  They annoy me, but they aren't worth the time.

What I would like to talk about is how I love being with my daughter.  Sure, sometimes I'd give a toe or two to have her not talk a mile a minute, but over all the best thing about my day is spending time with my child.  I pick her up from school almost every day which means we usually have about 2 hours of time just for us.  We listen to podcasts while driving.  Sometimes we sing, horribly of course, but loud and joyous.  We tell jokes, talk about space, and all kinds of other wonderful and fantastic things.  I couldn't imagine going through my day without spending part of it just being a dad.  I know taking time out of the day to be with my child is important to her development but it is also important to my sanity.   No matter how bad my day sucks the moment I get to play Candy Land, Uno, or DDR with Emily all the crap I deal with on a daily basis washes away.  There is something recharging and refreshing about interacting with someone who doesn't have a jaded view of the world around them.  While I know this is all fated to change, I can't help but enjoy each moment of our time as we scream towards the rebellious teenage years. 

One of the great and sometimes embarrassing things about being a parent is that children will often "say the darnedest things".  My daughter is no exception.  She is VERY good at picking up phrases and loves repeating them at the most unexpected times.  What makes this little fact of life even more troublesome is that I have a habit of exposing her to things that I probably shouldn't expose her too.  Nothing bad mind you, but according to my wife they are not "age appropriate".  Take for example one of her favorite podcasts "Ask a Ninja".  The podcast is basically exactly like what it sounds like.  It is a ninja answering questions.  As you can guess, this is a comedy show and it is pretty darn funny at times.  At the end of each show are advertisements for sponsors. 

My daughter, you see, has become adept at memorizing ads of all kinds.  So, as we were on our family outing Saturday night to a basketball game, I ask Emily to tell her mom about the ninja show.  At that point she repeats back the entire advertisement for the Ask a Ninja online store including correct tonal inflection.  If you watch the podcast at the link above you will see the add.  It was one of those priceless and unexpected moments in life.   The "you're welcome ladies" line was particularly well delivered.  I laughed so hard that I started to black out.  Honest.

She knows her mom gets a little agitated when she parrots back advertisements and I could actually see the smile on my daughter's face as she was going through the script.  Emily knew it was going to be funny and did it for our benefit.  She is awesome that way.  She loves making us laugh and she does it often by singing jingles.  The jingle for the local payday loan company was a personal favorite of mine "PayChex pays you money" or the refrain from the structured settlement lawyer, "It's MY money and I want it NOW!", and even the Nationwide song, "Nationwide is on your side!", are all apt to come out at any moment and personally I find it hilarious.  I don't know what it says about my parenting when it comes to TV, but that's another issue.  She knows it sort of gets under mom's skin but it makes dad laugh so she keeps doing it.  It's those little moments that parents who don't spend time with their kids miss out on.

Even though I desperately look for breaks from being "Dad", I absolutely love being a father.  I would take the opportunity to stay home with her full time in a heartbeat.  I don't understand people who will do anything and everything to stay away from their children.  That attitude and those people represent everything that has gone wrong with our society and I would just assume not be around them.  I wonder if that is as much a part of me wanting to home school my daughter as her education.  I don't really like to be around most other parents.  I don't know about them, but I look forward to the limited amount of time I can spend with my child during the day.  Maybe if other parents felt the same way the world would be a better place.  For me, however, it is T-Minues 9 hours until the next exciting round of Hi-Ho-Cherry-O!

Have a good Monday.

I grew up in a household of males.  Even the dog and cat were male.  My house consisted of my father, my brother, the pets.  My mother was the lone female voice in my life pretty much until I got married.  It is therefore no surprise that I am fairly well versed in things typically reserved for the male members of society.  I am enough of a typical male that I can enjoy pretty much any sport, I don't really like talking about my feelings, I can't match colors, I can go from being fully asleep to fully showered, dressed and ready for work in about 15 minutes, and I am a damn good spitter.  I am comfortable in my manliness and can function in most "manly" type situations.   Lately the male versus female dynamic in my life has taken a turn.

Today I am the minority in the house.  The tables have turned and I live in a house of females...including the dog.  I have had to learn to adjust to the changes wrought by such a switch in environments.  I live in a home full of barrettes, scrunchies, panties, baby dolls, emory boards, make-up compacts and ping.  Lot's of pink.  Pink everywhere.  It still surprises me what you can buy in pink.  Apparently there is even such a thing as double pink.  I am still adjusting to this, but I have a feeling I will always feel a little bit like an alien in my own home.

Living in a house of females has made me examine traditional gender role issues.  Why do we buy our daughters dolls and our sons trucks?  My daughter has a play kitchen and a play vanity and I remember very distinctly that she asked for them first.  In other words, something outside of her parents reinforced the idea that those are the things with which girls are supposed to play.  I have to admit, I have been rebelling against those roles with limited success.  I have tried to get her interested in Superheroes, basketball, robots, and math while at the same time showing her that men can cook and clean too.  In some ways it works, but she still likes to play "make-up" and loves playing with her dolls.  She is becoming a girly girl despite my efforts otherwise.  She is already telling me what things are for boys and what things are for girls.  Overall I am not concerned about this as she really is just four, but It is important for me to be able to teach her that she can do what she wants.  Some of that message gets through and some does not.

What I wonder though is how much of me getting her to engage in traditionally male activities is me pushing my interests on her.  Since I really can't relate to playing house, am I forcing my childhoods pursuits on her in some selfish reliving of my past while justifying it as "well-rounded" play.  I don't like dolls.  I don't like dress-up.  I certainly don't like make-up.  Therefore I find it hard to do these things with her.  I do it of course, but it bores me quickly and I am sure I don't give those activities my full attention.  I wonder if she sees my lack of complete interest which would then further reinforce those gender role things.  It's probably something I should pay closer attention to.

On the flip side of the issue, she seems to be taking to things like math and science quite well.  She insisted on a science themed birthday party last year (keep in mind it was for her 4th birthday) which was super fun even if trying to get a group of ten four year olds to do experiments was a bit chaotic.  Lately she has really been interested in numbers and adding and subtracting and has said it is her favorite thing to do in school.  I find that encouraging and I am actively trying to keep up her interest in the subject.  I was always a bad math student and I would like to spare her the problems associated with that if at all possible. 

I think what is going to happen is that I will have to depend on my wife to teach my daughter how to be a girl, whatever that means.  I just hope that she really gets into legos, transformers, and Star Wars because you have to admit that the toys made for boys are much cooler than those for girls and I am ready to play!

I am learning that I have to be very careful what I say in my house, especially around my daughter. She takes things VERY literal. Take for example the "energy hog" incident. I told her that the Energy Hog comes to your house and takes all of your energy. She took that literally and thought there was this crazy, pig-like creature that will come to your home and take away all of your personal energy. You know, like all the stuff that makes the electron transport chain work. It is pretty scary to think that some mythical figure can sneak into your home and basically kill you by stealing your energy. That incident was a pretty big clue that Emily, my sweet little child, takes what we adults say very seriously and at face value.

Last night we had another reminder of this little fact. First, however, some background...

Emily does not like to sleep. Well, maybe I should say she doesn't sleep much. She likes it well enough but often it seems there are just to many things to do for her to take time out and rest. What often happens is that she gets up at around 6:00 AM and burns bright until well into the afternoon. It is pretty much impossible to get her to take a nap around the lunch hour and more often than not she does not take a nap at all. However, some days she will give out in the late afternoon or early evening and that always spells trouble for mom and dad. A late afternoon nap means not going to bed before 10:00. Oh we can try and force the matter, but putting her into bed at 7 or 8 just means many, many trips back to her room trying to convince her to go to sleep. Generally we don't bother and let her stay up. Most of the time I like this because I have a little more time with her after I get home from work. If she went to bed at 8:00 that would leave me with just two hours of playtime before she was off to sleep. For me that is not enough time with my daughter. Last night was one of those nights.

We put Emily in bed sometime after 10:30 and she was still wide awake. I did the usually reading books thing and then I won the race to see which parent made it to bed first. A little while later I could hear my wife telling Emily "DO NOT GET OUT OF BED AGAIN". This meant that Emily got out of bed and came into the living room sometime after I retired. Not unusual but I worried that we might be in for a bad night. I never knew if that turned out to be true or not because I fell asleep moments after that last encounter. I fall asleep very fast and last night was no exception. I did not think about the situation again until this morning. I was in the living room ironing a shirt for work when my wife stumbled into the room on the way to Emily's room. It was after 6:00 so I figure she must be stirring. What was odd was that Emily usually gets out of bed herself and comes into our room to wake mommy up. Not so this morning.

As I continued ironing I heard a conversation from the other room that went something like this:

Emily: something I could not hear but she sounded distressed

Mommy: "You did what? Peed in the bed? Why honey?"

Emily sounding meek and tired: "You told me not to get out of the bed. I cried for you but you didn't come."

Mommy: "Oh honey, you know you can always go to the potty."

Emily again sounding meek and now a little confused: "But you told me I couldn't get out of bed."

Mommy: "I am sorry I did not hear you. Let's get out of bed and I'll clean this up."

Emily: "I'm sorry mommy."

The rest of my time at home was spent telling her that she was always allowed to go to the potty when she needs to. As you see, Emily took her previous instructions overly well and did not get out of bed. I guess we did not hear her and she peed in the bed. As parents we both felt awful about putting her in a position to either defy mommy or go to the bathroom and although I admire her strict adherence to the bedtime instructions, we have to remember that such instructions may be followed to the letter and have unintended consequences.

I can foresee that sarcasm is going to be trouble in my house.

My wife and I have begun to investigate homeschooling our daughter. Truth be told it has mostly been my wife doing the research with me grunting "yep, sounds good" every so often as she updates me on everything she has found. I look at the public education system in Alabama and in the US as a whole and I find it woefully unfocused on giving our child the tools she needs to succeed in the competitive and talent based world that we live in today. The public education system is very good at brainwashing children into believing life should be fair, their possessions are not their own, and that trying is good enough. If you want to find the reason why socialism, in the guise of "progressivism", shows increasing support in this country you only have to look at the public education system to find the roots of this change in ideology.

Not only are the schools teaching our children how to be good, passive cogs in the state machine but they are also raising the future leaders of the world to believe that the best they should strive for is "adequacy". I say this because if you look at the recent news reports about our schools, especially here in Alabama, everything in the news is about how our schools have shown"Adequate yearly progress". Boy that sounds exactly where I want my daughter to go to learn about chemistry, physics, mathematics, history, civics, art, and biology. Yes sir, an adequate school is just what my child needs. Yeah, I love to hear about teachers and administrators that strive year after year to be adequate. Is this the best we can do for our children? Am I wrong to think I shouldn't send my child to a place for 8 hours a day where the height of achievement is adequacy?

The fact is that schools today are nothing more than taxpayer funded daycares. The teachers have to teach to the dimmest students while the best students get left behind filling out word find puzzles (true story, that was a recurring assignment in my 12th grade history class). Good teachers are not allowed to be creative in the classroom because of state and federal regulations and the ever present rule that nothing can be said that could possibly offend someone. New and exciting theories in science are hushed because they don't meet sate teaching guidelines and students are not challenged to think on their own. That is disruptive you know and disruption is the worst sin in government education. I just can't send my daughter to a place that is unable or unwilling to help her reach her greatest potential.

Thus we are considering homeschooling her for a period of time. There is value in being around people that are not your parents and I am keenly aware that she needs those experiences as well, but a solid education where she can follow up on subjects that interest her is much more important than mingling with other hairless apes. My hope is to at least get her in private school by the high school years and maybe by middle school of the situation allows. It is of most importance to me, however, to develop her love of learning before she has to experience the soul sucking ordeal that is public education and that pretty much means she needs to stay out of government schools for her intermediate education.

Maybe this time around I will learn how to multiply without using my fingers. That single failure in my education has cost me so much over the years that I am determined not to let the same fate happen to Emily.

I am sitting in the living room after class the other night having a sandwich when my daughter needs to go to the potty. My wife, being the excellent mother and wife that she is, takes my daughter and leaves me to finish my dinner. A few moments later I hear:

"NO NO NO, YOU DON'T WIPE YOUR BUTT AND THEN BLOW YOUR NOSE!!!"

This statement is immediately followed by a river of lemonade pouring forth from both of my nostrils as my body tried to laugh at the same time my throat was trying to swallow. You see, to me, this is funny. Not the wiping of one's face with partially used toilet paper, but just the fact that I am not the one dealing with the issue. Instead, I am just an observer to the aftermath of the event.

Raising a child is interesting and the process is full of statements I never thought I would hear. The above quote from my wife is one great example. Of course I tend to laugh at all of these things while my wife does not always see the humor. "Why are these balloons gooey?" is a funny statement to me. Not so much for my wife. I have to admit, my sense of humor is a little outside of the norm, but as the say, kids say the darnedest things and to me, just about all if it is hilarious.

Today 3 years ago, my daughter had what qualifies as heart surgery. She was just a little over a month old and as new parents were understandably upset about the prospect. Without going into the details of the process, which you can read about starting with this post, I would just like to say that the last three years have been amazing. I have seen my daughter go from being attached to cardiac support systems all the way to thanking her doctor for her recent echo cardiogram and stating quite emphatically that she intends to be a heart doctor when she grows up. Not only did she recover from her surgery, but she is growing into a beautiful and intelligent little girl that surprises me with her wit and sense of humor on a daily basis.

We celebrate this day every year just so we don't forget what our little Emily had to go through to be the girl she is today. With that in mind, I am posting some photos today that I never before shared. These are photos from our time in the hospital back in 2003. I want other parents to know that children born with defects can receive wonderful treatment and recover. Have faith in your doctors, your friends, and yourself. Good things can and do happen even in the darkest of times.

Immediately after the surgery in recovery.

Again, after the surgery in recovery.

After she had been moved back the the pediatric floor.

This picture was taken the day we went home. Some improvement huh?

Emily today.

She is a perfectly normal child today. I can never thank the doctors, nurses, and hospital staff enough for what they did for my daughter. She is absolutely the light of my life and I simply can not imagine her not being here. So, today, more than any other is the day I give thanks.

The rest of you can have next week for all of your festivities. It's just not that big of a deal to me anymore.

Today, I am thankful for Emily

Today was a very special day for me. Through an unplanned cascade of events, I was able to attend my daughters 3 year cardiologist appointment. I just happened to be next to the building in the hospital complex right when her appointment was to start. I also just happened to spot a parking space next to the building. Given that I was in the right place at the right time, I jumped at the chance to meet them for the appointment.

For those of you that are not aware, Emily had heart surgery shortly after she was born. I wrote about the experience back when this blog was in its infancy. The surgery occurred almost 3 years ago and today she is a perfectly healthy, intelligent, growing, little girl. The doctor did not find any areas of concern and she is still clear to participate in ANY activity of her choosing. You can't begin to know how news of this nature affects a person unless you have lived the experience yourself. I was fairly sure she would be given a good bill of health, but I was still relieved to hear it from the doctor.

It was nice to be there in person to support my wife and child.