I had the strangest experience this morning that, in a way, is extremely troublesome. I woke up around 5:45 and I absolutely could not figure out if it was Thursday or Friday. I lay in bed for a good fifteen minutes trying to figure out what day it was but I could not do it. I tried counting back the days, going over things I had done, appointments I had kept, meals I ate, and other tricks but I could not come up with the right answer. It was disturbing. I had no sense that it was Friday. I didn’t have that good kind of feeling that it is the last day of the week. Nothing came to me and I finally had to look at my phone to confirm it was Friday.
Being confused like that was kind of scary. I am not used to that kind of feeling. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I have had something similar happen. I have been noticing that I can’t always say what I am thinking. I try to answer a question about something I know and have known for a long time but the words won’t come. The answer is just not there. Mostly it is stupid trivia stuff that no one really needs to know anyway but not being able to come up with answers I know I should have is frightening. There isn’t a history of Alzheimer’s in my family as far as I am aware so I am not afraid of having a medical condition but I wonder if age is catching up to my brain. That’s not a comforting thought for me. My mind is about the only thing I could count on in my life and if it is starting to go then I don’t have much left.
It might not be time to take the iceberg out to sea yet but things are changing and I don’t like where they are going.