It’s February! Yippee! OK, not really yippee. In fact, I don’t seem to really care what month it is. Time is something I don’t have much of a grasp of these days other than the constant reminder that it moves ever onward. I am noticing a lot of changes these days. My memory isn’t what it once was. I have had people tell me things I said and did when I was younger that I just don’t have any memory of. It is strange because this isn’t normal for me. I have traditionally had a very good memory. In fact, that is about the only thing I ever had as a true gift or advantage. Realizing that it is slipping away is a bit troublesome.
The other thing I notice is that I don’t have good judgement of when things happened. If someone talks about an event in the last 15 years I have a hard time placing it in the course of events. There is a very strong line of demarcation in my memory. There is my life before I met my wife and there is my life after. The things before are getting fuzzier and fuzzier. A lot of times I can only place things before or after that event. Anything more exact than that is difficult. Even things that happened recently are sometimes hard to place. Something I thought happened a year ago might have actually been five. Strange but something I know is part of the reality of getting older.
Aging doesn’t worry me so much. Losing who I am does. It worries me a lot.