New Month? New Year? What Time is It?

It’s February!  Yippee!  OK, not really yippee.  In fact, I don’t seem to really care what month it is.  Time is something I don’t have much of a grasp of these days other than the constant reminder that it moves ever onward.  I am noticing a lot of changes these days.  My memory isn’t what it once was.  I have had people tell me things I said and did when I was younger that I just don’t have any memory of.  It is strange because this isn’t normal for me.  I have traditionally had a very good memory.  In fact, that is about the only thing I ever had as a true gift or advantage.  Realizing that it is slipping away is a bit troublesome.

The other thing I notice is that I don’t have good judgement of when things happened.  If someone talks about an event in the last 15 years I have a hard time placing it in the course of events.  There is a very strong line of demarcation in my memory.  There is my life before I met my wife and there is my life after. The things before are getting fuzzier and fuzzier.  A lot of times I can only place things before or after that event.  Anything more exact than that is difficult.  Even things that happened recently are sometimes hard to place.  Something I thought happened a year ago might have actually been five. Strange but something I know is part of the reality of getting older.

Aging doesn’t worry me so much.  Losing who I am does.  It worries me a lot.

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