Drinking and Driving

Ever have one of those days?  You are in a rush to get out of the house and decide not to pack your breakfast and instead grab something on the way to work?  Have you ever gotten a call while in the drive through and gotten flustered during ordering?  Have you have gotten a drink but by the time you actually take a sip you have forgotten what you got?  Even worse, you didn’t just forget what you got but actually thought you got something else?  Like maybe you ordered sweet tea but thought you ordered lemonade?  Then, when you take a drink, the surprise at tasting something different makes you spit out the drink?  How about after you spit out the drink you become so upset at covering your 3 month old brand new car in sugary, brown liquid that you are instantly filled with rage?  Has this ever happened to you?  It totally sucks right?

Has the rage ever gotten so out of control that you forget that you are driving a car and you slam into the back of another vehicle?  Did that vehicle happen to be a hearse?  What are the odds right?  Did the back of the hearse then pop open due to the blunt force and then a coffin slide out?  That’s pretty bad but then did you ever have the coffin’s lid swing up and a corpse fall out onto your windshield?  What if I told you that corpse was your 5th grade English teacher?  How about that?

Have you ever had a day like that?  It surely makes for a bad day but has all of that ever happened and then, when you finally wake up to what has happened did you ever put on the brakes and see the dead body of your 5th grade English teacher go tumbling off the front of your hood onto the concrete and into a puddle left over from the previous day’s thunderstorms?  Did the shock cause you to jump out of the car only to realize you forgot to put the car in park?  Have you ever also forgotten to take into account you were on a slight incline and when you got out of the car it rolled forward over the corpse practically splitting the body in two?  Have that ever happened to you?  Did it ever happen during the middle of the funeral procession for your 5th grade English teacher?  Was there a news van there because the teacher just happened to save an entire class of kids from a fire started by lightning from the storms?  How unlucky can you be right?

Now, don’t you wish you had woken up a few minutes earlier and just gone inside to eat instead of using the drive through?  My advice – don’t drink and drive.


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