Mystery at the Chevron

Cape Cod Potato ChipsI was pumping gas today when I noticed a Cape Cod Chips delivery truck next to me.  Of all the chips out there I like these the best.  I love the kettle cooked style.  They are crazy crispy and just good.   So, when I saw the delivery van at the next pump over I started to get kind of excited.  I thought that maybe this would be a good time to go over to the driver and just shake his hand.  Give the good man a little thanks for bringing this product to my grocery shelves on a regular basis.  Couldn’t hurt right and hey, if he wanted to thank me by dropping a few bags of potato goodness on me then who am I to judge?

It was then that I noticed the driver wasn’t actually at the pump.  Guess he was inside taking care of business.  Maybe checking the shelves for proper merchandising.  That or maybe dropping the deuce but I’d rather not think of the person delivering my chips doing that.  I went back to pumping gas with the assumption that I would never see the chip delivery man and all of those chips would remain safe in the delivery vehicle.  Just as I was getting ready to leave, however, two guys came out of the store.  They were both dressed in dark clothes with hooded sweatshirts.  I didn’t think anything of it until I noticed that they were getting in the Cape Cod Truck!!!  What?  I just assumed the delivery guy would have a nice uniform and maybe a little hat, but no!  These guys were dressed like bank robbers.  My imagination took off then and this is what went through my mind in about 5 seconds.

What if they stole the truck?  These guys could be selling chips on the black market!  Yeah, maybe if I went over to them they would give me a case for 5 bucks!  Oh, wait, what if the chips are counterfeit?  Could these guys be running around town selling fake Cape Cod chips?  OH SHIT!  Have I eaten counterfeit chips?  Maybe that is why my liver hurts!  These dudes are killing me!  I should smash into them with my car, then the police will come and their little scheme will be revealed.  Maybe the real driver would be found in the truck tied up and dying of thirst!  I would be the HERO of HELENA and Cape Cod’s CEO would make a special trip down to my house with a lifetime supply of Cape Cod chips as a thank-you for protecting their brand and the quality of their product.  Maybe he would even offer me a job at their corporate headquarters as a brand evangelist!  All my troubles would be over AND I would have a lifetime supply of delicious, crunchy Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips!  What an opportunity! What majesty!  What luck!  I just had to stop these misanthropes from driving away.  It was my time!  The universe brought me here for this moment!  IT WAS TIME FOR ACTION!

Then they drove off.

I came down from my fantasy and went to work.  I will forever wonder “what-if”.  Fortune favors the daring and I let another opportunity slip away.  That or maybe the delivery guys were just cold.  We’ll never know.


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