I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. The appointment is for a check up. I am a bit afraid of this visit. I haven’t been feeling well. Not for a long time. Not so bad that I haven’t been able to go to work or go about life pretty much as I normally do, just not well. I am afraid this will be the visit when something really bad turns up. Every previous visit has been a chance to fix things and I have failed every time. So now I get to go in, have some routine blood tests and see what comes out. Eventually everything is not going to be ok.
Maybe the upside of finding something not easily fixed is that I won’t be afraid anymore. Maybe this is the time where I start getting things right. I just don’t want to be scared any longer.