Well, it is October 2012 and are you doing what you always thought you would be doing by now? Well, if your answer is “no” then welcome to the club! The last few years have been tough on a lot of people and if you are anything like me then you have been spinning our wheels waiting on things to get better and are only now coming to the conclusion that maybe it won’t get better. Maybe the “new normal” really is the new normal.

As the date of the election draws near I find myself wondering if anyone, not just the pathetic choices with which we have been presented but anyone at all, has the strength of vision and force of will to move our country and our society past the stagnation and culture of apathy that we seem to find ourselves in. Is the the vault of our leaders that we are on decline or should the finger be pointed right back at ourselves? Can we find a way to avoid the same fate as every other great society in history?

I worry about the future. Not so much my own. I have mostly given up on that already. I worry about the future that my daughter will inherit. Will there be enough work, peace, or even food to go around? It seems that everything is changing and nothing for the better. Maybe it is time for the virus of humanity to be wiped clean from the face of the Earth. What good do we bring the planet anyway?

My thoughts are jumbled. Nothing makes a lot of sense to me anymore. Some days I no longer want to be and yet I don’t want not to be. I am so tired and yet any chance at rest seems like a dream that fades after waking.

I don’t know what this means. I just wanted to write something. A statement of my confusion with the world and my disillusionment with life. The only thing I understand is that life goes on…until it doesn’t.

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