September 2008 Archives

Pardon the Interruption

By Jeff on September 30, 2008 8:22 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks
I have been very busy lately so I have hardly had time to use the tubes and jump on the internets.  Here is the bullet point synopsis.

1.  Woke up too sick to walk on Tuesday.  Finally went to the doc-in-the-box at 3:00.  Started feeling better after 2 shots.

2.  Won the weekly, live poker tournament at a local restaurant.  $25 Gift Certificate.  Wheee!

3.  Did not sleep for about 5 days due to medication.

4.  Busted tail at the Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival Thursday thru Sunday.

5.  My vehicle got broken into on Saturday morning.  Police recovered just about everything but have not made any arrests as of yet.

6.  Spent Monday at work in a zombie like state due to exhaustion.

7.  Went to bed at 9:00 Monday having still not watched any of this season's Heroes.

8.  Dragged myself out of bet at 5:00 AM and realized it was still 4 days until the weekend so I cried just a little.

9.  Somehow made it to work without crashing my car.

10.  Now fighting sleep as I try to stay awake and get my work done.

I guess I can say the weekend wasn't exactly laid back and I am looking forward to a slightly less stressful week.

A Return to Hell Week

By Jeff on September 22, 2008 9:23 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks
This week is probably the busiest for me as I have at least one outside commitment that keeps me busy from just about Thursday morning through late Sunday evening.  I told myself I would not sign up this year and here I am preparing to go through it all again.  After nine years you would think I would have learned my lesson.  I guess I have a hard time saying no when I know people are counting on me.  I have already decided to retire my position this year and I expect I will inform the powers-at-be later tonight.  That is the only way I can be sure that I don't have to go through all this again next year.  I have mixed emotions about the whole thing as this is an event in which I have invested a great deal but I have just come to the conclusion that it has passed me by and it is time to move on.  I hope for a successful year and a graceful exit.

The other big event coming up withing the next 10 days is my daughter's 5th birthday.  I started this blog a few months before her birth with the thought it might chronicle my growth as a father.  Then, I learned, that I don't like talking about my family too much around these parts.  It just seems weird to have people ask me questions about what I have written and I don't think my family should have to deal with the same thing.  That is not to say I am completely anonymous, which I am not, I just decided to keep certain things personal.  I should probably keep more things to myself.  I'm not exactly known for my good judgment.

I am really excited about this birthday.  Not the party so much especially considering I will have to interact with quite a few parents I do not know and probably wouldn't be friends with outside of the reality distortion field that accompanies parties full of classmates but I am excited that my daughter is really growing up.  She is becoming so much fun to be around and I look forward to just hanging out with her.  We pretty much spent all day Sunday together, just her and I, and it was really fun.  We went to the movies, to the bookstore, and other places and basically just had really good daddy/daughter time together.  I missed so much of her early life due to school that I still feel like I am catching up.  Of all the things I am, I like being a father the best.  I am still not sure if I am a good father yet, but I enjoy the process and right now it is only getting more fun as she gets older.  I know people who see children as a burden but not me.  Given the opportunity I would be the stay at home parent.  As it is, however, I am glad we have time together everyday and the weekends.  I suppose that is another reason why I am dreading my work this weekend.  It takes me away from the one thing that makes me really happy, my family.

Which brings me to my final thoughts.  If the mother/father of Emma Hartman are out there I need you to know you really need to step up in the parenting department.  I basically babysat your daughter for half an hour at the Barnes & Noble at Patton Creek on Sunday.  I was trying to spend some time with my child, not yours.  I think I saw you, the mother, twice during that period and the rest of the time you were off somewhere else far away from the children's section.  It seems like she would really like someone to interact with her as she would not leave my daughter and I alone.  Maybe this is a cry for attention, I don't know.  It sure was obvious that you weren't interested in being around her at the time.  I find that sad.

Please understand that although the children's section of the store is self contained it is NOT a drop off point for parent's who want to browse the bookstore.  You might wonder why I know your daughter's name.  Well, she wouldn't stop telling me.  Probably not a good idea to drop your kid off somewhere and leave her if she likes to talk to strangers.  I hope you also enjoyed your recent trip to New York City.  Yes, she told me that too.  Finally, you might want to teach her the proper way to handle books.  Stepping on them and using them like skates is not the proper way to handle books nor is it the accepted handling of someone else's property.  When I asked her why she was doing that she told me "Well, I like to".  Great attitude there.  I finally got frustrated and left with my own child who was, quite frankly, getting annoyed with "Emma" as well.  By the time we left, your child was pullling every book off of the rotating rack and throwing it on the floor.  I am sure that makes the staff happy.  Please, for the rest of the people who know how to act at a bookstore, monitor your child, teach her respect for other people and other people's things, and above all tell her to leave other people alone.

For all the parent's out there, please don't subject other people to your children when they are out with their family.  That will be all

Making the right decision

By Jeff on September 15, 2008 9:53 PM | 5 Comments | No TrackBacks
I think for the first time since 2003 I deleted a post aside from removing the archives earlier this year.  I don't enjoy doing such things and the decision was not easy but it was the right one.  In some ways I see deleting posts as dishonest but in this case I feel I posted in frustration and after further review I believe it was best to remove the entry.  I feel I was justified in the actions I took that were described in the post but ultimately it is probably more of a situation to discuss in private and not in person.

The whole point of the post was to tell people how important it is to be a good customer and be respectful to whomever answers the phone.  I can absolutely guarantee you will get better service and may actually get the person on the other line to take extra steps to help you above what they would normally take.  The call I received last week was from a rude customer that had no reason to be rude and disrespectful as I initially wanted to help him.  Even though I was completely professional I was not extended the same courtesy which I feel justified my reduced level of service.  I am willing to discuss opinions to the contrary but I stand by my position.   

Burn After Reading

By Jeff on September 15, 2008 7:38 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks
Burn After Reading
I got the opportunity to go to the movies this weekend to see the new Coen Bros. film Burn After Reading.  I would say I am an admirer of their films but I am not a raving lunatic fan.  My favorite of their films is the often forgotten The Hudsucker Proxy.  It's a great film made before Tim Robbins started taking himself so seriously.  I am also a big fan of Fargo.  More recently I really enjoyed No Country for Old Men, but I liked it more in pieces and not so much as a cohesive picture.  I will argue that the scene between Anton Chigurh and the gas station operator is one of the most brilliantly directed and acted scenes in all of film.  So, I expected to see a great film and I got that but in a way I did not expect.

For whatever reason, I thought this movie would be much more of a comedy.  I don't know if the TV campaign gave me that impression but I wasn't expecting a Washington bumbling crime drama.  What I got was a film that is the thematic successor to Fargo and that, my friends, is a good thing.

*****Light Spoilers Contained Below*****

Burn After Reading follows a seemingly random group of people that ultimately are connected in very intimate, if not dangerous ways.  The film starts out with Ozzie Cox (Malkovich) loosing his job at the CIA.  Cox is married to pediatric physician Tilda Swinton who is sleeping with a US Treasury a employee played by George Clooney.  Rounding out the cast are the two gym employees played by Francis McDormand and Brad Pitt.  Through sheer idoicy, the two Hardbodies employees stumble upon some "sensitive" documents belonging to Cox.  This sets in motion a series of events that ruins the lives of just about everyone involved.

No other director (or directorial team) does the quircky crime drama quite like the Coen's.  Each of the characters in the film are a touch off which makes them more real in a way than what you normally see in dramatic works.  Let's be honest this is a drama with many moments of comedy.  It's not a dram like No Country for Old Men, but there are serious consequences for the characters.  It is difficult to classify this type of film, but that is one of the reasons why it succeeds.  It has that touch of reality that so many films just can't pull off.

As usually the dialog and delivery are great and the film's comedic, dramatic, and surprise moments all fall on the correct beats.  The only misstep is the casting of Brad Pitt as a clueless personal trainer.  Even that statement is not true.  Brad Pitt is the perfect choice, but they needed the Brad Pitt of 15 years ago.  Here he just seems too old to be in that part.  His mannerisms are right, his delivery is right, everything is right, but I just had a very hard time believing him as a personal trainer.  Pitt is 45 but the character should have been in his mid 20s.  I will admit even that criticsm is a nitpick but both I and my wife had issues with him in the role.

I think the greatest stroke of genius was the casting of Tilda Swinton as a shrewish wife of the CIA operative.  Swinton scares me.  Even before The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, she struck me as the perfect person to play a witch.  She just has this very stark look that makes children want to cry themselves to sleep which makes it even more hilarious in that she is a pediatrician in this film.  The one scene with her at work is EXACTLY how I would picture her with kids in real life.  She doesn't have a whole lot to do in this film other than a few key moments required to move the plot along, but she is brilliant in her portrayal. 

Clooney and McDormand are excellent as well.  At first you wonder why Clooney is sleeping around with Swinton's character but then you realize he screws just about any female that walks.  His descent into madness and paranoia is hilarious to watch even though you feel like he gets exactly what is coming to him.  McDormand's role is a bit trickier to understand until you realize she really only cares about one thing and will sacrifice anything to get it.  I would say she is in the William H. Macy role from Fargo in that in both films you have this average, if unintelligent, character that just wants to make a little bit better life for themselve and through some bad decisions ends up way over their head.

What the Coen's do best is characters and their work is on fine display here.  There are cameos from J.K Simmons, who really needs more work in comedy as this guy really has a great knack for comedic dialog, and John Malkovich.  I say cameo even though he has both billing and screen time, but he is underutilized.  The story really isn't about his character but events that swirl around him.  Sadly I think the film suffers from a lack of point.  The flawed characters all seem to end up paying for their sins but ultimately nothing is really resolved.  Maybe in that sense the film really is more of a comedy than a drama.  Maybe I was wrong and really should classify the film as a comedy.  Yeah, how about dark comedy?  Does that work?

This is a good film, but not as good as No Country for Old Men or Fargo.  It's fun, shocking, and even moving in parts and worth both the time and money it takes to go see the film, but in the end I have to rate it as an also ran in comparison to the rest of the directors' work.  It is good, entertaining, almost mindless fun but nothing on the level of the Coen's best films.  With that said I recommend the film in this after summer period.          

Baby Steps

By Jeff on September 11, 2008 7:02 AM | 2 Comments | No TrackBacks
I haven't exactly been talking to Dr. Leo Marvin but I have taken a small step toward getting some kind of focus with regards to my professional life.  I met with a career counselor this week.  I guess I knew what to expect.  After some short pleasantries and the requisite rehashing of my recent and not so recent academic pursuits we got down to what I have come to refer to as "THE Question".  Whenever I start talking about work and career and the future there is always one question that comes up very early in the discussion.  It is a question I can not answer and haven't been able to answer in quite a while.  When someone asks "What do you want to do?" all I can do is stare at them like a lost dog.  I honestly have no idea what I want to do.

Occasionally I get very depressed about this problem.  It is just really hard to understand how I don't have something I feel so passionately about that I want to make it a career.  I get interested in things but I can't ever seem to stay interested in them for very long.  I thought maybe technology was the answer but even that is boring me lately.  I have a few career assessments to take and I hope that somewhere in that process I can find some direction.  Otherwise I feel like I will be sentenced to drift aimlessly until I wake up one day and find I am too old to do anything worthwhile.  It is not a pleasant thought.

 

Seems like an awful waste of space

By Jeff on September 10, 2008 6:46 AM | 11 Comments | No TrackBacks
The release of SPORE makes me want to invest in a new PC for my home.  I haven't upgraded desktop hardware in quite a while and it is really starting to show.  I dislike playing games on my laptop so I have effectively quite playing PC games.  Overall that has been fine because I have been very pleased with the options available to me through both my XBOX 360 and my Wii.  However, SPORE has piqued my interest.  I have traditionally not been interested in simulation style games, but this one seems different.  I also am aware of the "intelligent design" aspect of the game although if you have payed attention to some of the creations that have resulted from the SPORE Creature Creator I think using the word "intelligent" may be pushing it just a bit.  This post, however, isn't really about video games, or building PCs or even a debate about ID so let's move on shall we?

Listening to other people talk about SPORE has gotten me thinking about the vastness of the universe.  By most accounts the universe is large on a scale that is difficult for the human mind to comprehend.  I find it impossible to express in words how small and insignificant a single human life really is when compared to what we accept as known existence.  Given that the universe is vast beyond measure, I find it completely impossible to accept the assertion that life only exists on one small planet orbiting a completely unremarkable star in a tiny corner of one of an unestimatable number of galaxies in a likely infinite universe.  Now, I will admit most of the size of the universe is derived through theoretical astrophysics, but let's assume one of two possibilities is correct:

1.  The universe is amazingly vast and possibly infite in size.
 
or

2.  Some extremely powerful being has created one hell of an illusion and the universe isn't as big as we think.

While it is certainly possible some omnipotent being (god or otherwise) created this reality solely for the us, humanity, I find it unlikely.  I am am certiainly a man of very limited intelligence and maybe I am just incapable of seeing the bigger picture but why create such a thing as the universe for only one species to experience?  It certainly does seem like an awful waste of space.

So, let's, just for the sake of argument, assume that option number 1 is true.  Now, given that the universe is huge, isn't it EXTREMELY unlikely that life only exists on one planet?  We don't even have to assume that the universe is infinite to come to that conclusion, just really, really big.  This is the idiot's (I'm the idiot FYI) introduction to the Drake Equation.  The best way I can explain the equation is that it is a mathematical theory used to describe the possible number of intelligent civilization which humanity might be able to encounter.  Of course the equation is completely conjecture but it is useful in one way.  Even taking an extremely conservative approach, mathematically the odds are pretty good that there is other intelligent life in the universe.  Simply put, the universe is just too big and there is too much stuff in it for humans to be the lone intelligent species.

Accepting this does not force one to reject belief in a omnipotent being or creator but it does call into question the idea that humanity is somehow the "favorite son".  I think that realization alone invalidates most terrestrial religions considering how many have humanity as the ultimate result of creation.  If Marvin the Martian was to come down and address the world from the National Mall in Washington how would that force theists to re-evaluate their position?

What I am getting at is that it seems the height of hubris and self-importance to think that in the vastness that is the known universe humanity is the ultimate form of mortal intelligence.  It is a comforting thought but completely illogical.  I also believe this kind of thinking severely limits the ability of humanity to reach its potential.  So many people willingly and happily box in their minds which makes it disheartening to think about what we could have accomplished by now if only we could free our minds from the tyranny of religion.

There's so much out there to be discovered.  How about we get to it?

Books on Deck

By Jeff on September 7, 2008 8:26 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

Books on Deck, originally uploaded by Shadowhelm.

This is the current stack of books I am in the process of reading. My completion rate is abysmal lately as I keep picking up new books without finishing other books I am reading. I figure I will get them all done eventually. Click through to flickr.com for further information on the books.

Birmingham Zoo

By Jeff on September 5, 2008 6:37 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

Birmingham Zoo, originally uploaded by Shadowhelm.

Walking around the zoo is probably a better way to spend a lunch break than eating some kind of fast food garbage. As the weather gets cooler I plan on taking many more of these trips.

I better see a strike!

By Jeff on September 5, 2008 6:28 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

I better see a strike!, originally uploaded by Shadowhelm.

We took Emily bowling over the holiday weekend. She really enjoys it even if she has a hard time getting the ball down the lane. She did end up getting one strike. Considering how bad I was bowling, that was almost enough to put her in first place for a little while. For whatever reason my Wii bowling skills just don't translate into the real thing. Maybe that is also why I do not play pro basketball, am not in the military, and am not a space commando.

3 Word Movie Reviews

By Jeff on September 3, 2008 6:26 AM | No Comments | No TrackBacks
I am debuting a new feature today and that is the 3 Word Movie Review!!!  TA DA!

This week's subject is a "remake" of the classic George A. Romero film Day of the Dead.

3 Word Review of Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead RemakeThis is crap!

Do Not Watch!

Ving Gotta Eat.

Where's the Plot?

Zombies can't Jump!

Romero is Crying!

Why Mena why?




















I hope you enjoyed today's 3 word movie reviews.

Post Holiday Doldrums

By Jeff on September 2, 2008 6:19 AM | 1 Comment | No TrackBacks
Nothing makes me want to stay home more than a long holiday weekend with my family.  It was wonderful just to be with my wife and daughter without having to worry about anything more stressful than being sure the ice cream got put back in the freezer before it melted.  It is times like these when I start evaluating and re-evaluating where I am in life and invariably I discover that I am not content with the way things stand.  My unhappiness seems to be most clear on that first day back to work after a holiday or vacation.  I don't suppose I should be surprised.   

I think about all the time I spend at work trying to provide a better life for my family and wonder if it is worth it.  Working a minimum of 45 hours a week with at least 1.5 hours of drive time only to struggle to keep up our meager existence hardly seems like the best investment of my time.  I work hard to pay all my bills on time even the ones that I never should have taken out in the first place and what does it get me?  Nothing but a tiny house with more problems than the mayor of Detroit, a child that spends most of her waking hours in the company of strangers, and an overwhelming sense of dread that the other boot is coming down any minute.  Nothing good comes from trying to be responsible.  It makes me wonder if I should just give all the banks the finger, quit my job, and try to start over somewhere that allows me to work less, be home more, and enjoy life a little bit before it slips through my fingers.  I have chased the American dream just about long enough and I am a little tired of seeing it get away every time I start getting close. 

Not all is doom and gloom though.  I have managed to build a solid foundation upon which to strike out in a new direction.  I am taking actions this week to hopefully capitalize on all of the work I have put into myself over the past few years.  The plan has been to try and create some action in 2009 and that magic year is quickly approaching.  Faster than I could have guessed actually.  I am shocked it is September really.  Shocked and frightened.  Frightened of making a change and what it might bring.  Frightened that things won't be better, but worse.  Frightened that I am making the wrong decisions.  Frightened that I will fail.  The reality though is that the time is now, the iron is hot, and the getting is good.  I would use some other cliches but I'd have to look them up and I am just not into that kind of commitment to a blog post today.  I've been full of talk for too long and if I am ever going to make a go at fixing the problems in my world I have to do it now. 

Learning to play poker over the last few months has taught me something.  Some times you have to gamble.  Waiting around for the absolute best hand will cost you in the long run and occasionally you have to risk what you have on the hand you've got.  I am at that point now.  I have a strong hand, maybe not the best, but strong and it is time to push.  The first step is a phone call and I am making that this morning.  Here's hoping my hand holds up.    
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