I often wrote about the strange elves that occasionally visit my house on the old blog. These elves, dubbed the "kick in the nuts elves", always come by at the worst possible times and make my family's life a miserable hell. Usually this pain comes in the form of some major repair work for my home or one of my vehicles at a time when funds are low or committed elsewhere. They particularly like to visit during the Christmas season to muck up the works in my heating/cooling system or find a way to destroy mechanical systems in my car. Whenever they show up there is always something to be fixed and it is always expensive. It is very frustrating to know that some species of elves delight in making people's lives fantastic but the elves that visit me have a sick fascination with my utter helplessness in the face of unexpected expenses.Not 24 hours after my wife and I seriously discussed taking a trip to Las Vegas for our anniversary, the kick in the nuts elves stopped by the house. I can only assume it was sometime when we were at work yesterday. Why my good-for-nothing dog has not eaten the troublemakers and protected the family homestead is still a mystery but done is done and no use getting mad at the dog for what those sadistic little punks have wrought.
On this visit the elves decided that it was finally time to sound the death knell of my aging hot water heater. Last night LONG after anyone used ANY hot water, the unit started making a low hissing/humming noise. This type of noise it not uncommon with water heaters, but it is uncommon for it to continue for hours on end. I decided to go to bed and check it in the morning. When the mutt woke me up at 4AM I stuck my head in the closet and sure enough the water heater was still buzzing. After a series of troubleshooting steps I determined that the pressure release valve was leaking. So, not only was I using more electricity to heat more water, but I was actually wasting water as it drained out of the release pipe. The double whammy! I resigned myself to my fate and decided to replace the unit.
The trip to Vegas has been put on hold with an option to cancel. The elves have won again. If I believed in Karma I would be wondering what I have done to deserve the continued scorn of these elves. Maybe one day they will leave a note explaining why I am the target of their machinations. Until then I am left wondering how I can appease their appetite for carnage.
Have you been visited by the kick in the nuts elves?
At least you are spending your money on something. Mine disappears in the stock market.
And on the bright side, are you in Shelby County? People in Jefferson County pay about $100 per gallon plus another $50 to dispose of it down the drain.
Yes, sewer rates are much better here. I pay about $45 a month for water, garbage, etc. I hope getting the leak in the water heater fixed lowers that bill.
Citizens of Jefferson County are really taking the brunt of poor leadership.
Considering we have replaced every appliance, large and small, in the past 4 years, I think the elves come to Atlanta whenever they leave Alabama.
That's why I put my faith in Gnomes.
Evil elves hit here today. The automatic garage door opener died. Lowes is installing a new one soon.
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